I’ve always envied people who knew what they wanted to do
for a living since they were five. Like kids who become scientists or engineers
due to a deep inner calling, giving them plenty of time to nurture their craft
because they figured it out so early.
I suspect most people just stumble into their career paths,
like I did when I answered a NY Times ad one Sunday to become a Wall Street
headhunter.
Some will get that deeper calling.
But one thing I know for sure. Most career decisions are
tripped up by our egos. It’s really hard to remove the ego from our career
trajectory because ego, by its very definition, is how we separate ourselves.
It’s what makes us special. It's how we differentiate our resume from others when we compete for the same
jobs.
Like Seinfeld’s George Costanza, who admitted he would have
married a girlfriend he hated just to prove that he could make a commitment,
our egos can make us stumble.
·
Are you thinking of leaving your job because you
see others progressing more rapidly around you?
·
Do you defend your own bad decisions? Is it more
important to be right than to fix a problem at work?
·
Do you grandstand to show off your talents?
You might consider a job change because you’ve been
passed over for a promotion. Maybe you are comparing your track record to someone else who moved up
the ladder, even though his sales numbers or metrics weren’t as strong as
your own. But remind yourself that these comparisons with colleagues can be
misleading. It might be only part of the picture. Your need to defend your ego
and your drive to win makes you forget that he might
possess other necessary talents you don’t have (soft skills, cultural fit, a
knack with presentations) that got him promoted. Do you really see the whole picture?
If you’re the boss, are you holding onto a bad employee
because you were the one that convinced the company to hire them and you don’t
want to admit you made a bad decision? This may be hindering your own
development.
Our egos are notorious for giving us selective hearing.
Maybe you’re an employee who got a less-than-favorable annual review this year.
Granted, many companies create bell curves for performance evaluations,
preventing salary increases for many. Your manager may have to justify why you didn’t
get a raise. But as you sift through your manager’s feedback, there are likely
morsels of truth about your performance that are genuine. Don’t let your ego
make you ignore these.
Grandstanding is the most obvious display of our ego in the
workplace. Remember that it is a pattern that cannot be sustained. Showing off your wins and monopolizing the conversation at teammeetings will wear
you out. It will wear out others around you, too.
So how do you make career decisions from the right place?
Remember that ego is a needed part of our psyche and we shouldn’t completely
ignore it. It’s where we derive our inspiration and our desires—for work and
every other area of our lives.
But for starters, we know we make a good career choice when the
decision feels physically good. When you tell the important people in your life
what you do for a living, or where you work, is your body relaxed? Are you at
peace?
Or do you get a clammy feeling in the pit of your stomach?
If you tell everyone you are leaving your job, do you feel a restlessness?
Maybe it’s because you think the new company would look better on your
resume.
Most important, are you moving toward a better career, or
are you really running away from something, instead?
Ego focuses on pride.
The I vs. the We.
Earning, acquiring. Getting.
Separating us from others.
That’s our ego at work. It will
always play a role in our career decisions, but don’t let it overwhelm you. Awareness
is the best way to keep it from controlling you.
Big head, a photo by xJason.Rogersx on Flickr.
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