How Do You Identify Yourself?

name badges, a photo by juxtapozerz on Flickr.

On this celebration of Mother’s Day, I started thinking about the ways I define myself. I’m the mother of two beautiful children. I’m also a wife, an employee, a daughter and a friend.

In the context of the larger world, women are often conflicted about balancing work with family life. Statistics tell us that the brunt of household responsibilities still falls on women’s shoulders. But I think it’s safe to say that women like myself take pride in wearing a few name badges at once. In fact, we wouldn’t have it any other way.

But what happens when we suffer disappointments? As I get older (and hopefully wiser) I’m always looking for a better way of thinking. Lately I’ve been working on blurring the ways that I identify myself and I’ve been trying to live from the 

inside-out.

We have to love ourselves before anyone else can meet our needs, right? Living from the inside-out increases happiness because by doing so, we decide to live authentically.

And in the workplace, like a thin layer of armor, this powerful force carries us through job losses, missed promotional opportunities and lots of other setbacks.

There are plenty of work-related reasons to live from the inside-out. It makes sense that we need to stop aspiring to unattainable standards—like working twelve-hour days in order to get promoted. And we don’t have to be Road Warriors that travel constantly in order to prove ourselves worthy, either. We don’t have to be myopically single-minded to convince investors we can run a profitable company.

The alternative is scary. 

If I am what I do for a living, and I base my self-identity solely on what my superiors think of me, then—who am I if I no longer have that job?

It may sound airy-fairy, but I’d rather regard myself as a child of the Universe, bringing with that name badge all my strengths and all my imperfections to the world. I will not define myself through what I do for a living.

A child of the Universe. That’s how I will categorize myself. It’s hard—but I’m working on it.

I think women thrive on being counted-upon by bosses, spouses, children, friends and others at once. We enjoy wearing more than one name badge. The hard part is remembering to balance everyone else’s opinion of us with what we are inspired to be and to do.

Never lose sight of the desire that burns inside of you.

Happy Mother’s Day.